Tonight is my Orchestra Concert, and in the midst of that, I'm thinking if I'm ready for college-music wise. What I responded is "no." I'm not ready for auditions to get a scholarship. I'm also not ready for their curriculum. I'm so scared of all my hard work going to waste. I have been this far, pursuing more than others in my age, and I get....nothing.
Yesterday I was at Mary Ann's place to have my piano lesson. She told me that I had improved, but there's a lot of hard work for me yet. In one of the songs, I have to play 16th notes in one hand, then 8th notes in the other, with occasional 8th rests in the song. That is hard! I don't know if I could do that challenge. I also suck at timing and giving the notes the proper value, which is crucial in college.
In my violin playing, I suck. Well, not really. But I'm out of my normal standards. Right now, I'm supposed to be awesome. But, I have my doubts. I'm not good enough to be in Rockestra last year, and there are people that are 7 years younger than me being able to play very well. It's shocking for me, and I felt like I'm just a ruined talent. I wasn't nurtured to the best of my capabilities until... now?! That's just insane. Everyone else had lessons for years, being able to play like a breeze. In college, you need to do that.
On the other hand, I'm very good at vocals. I seem to understand everything they give me. I'm the true leader. Everyone wanted to stand by me, hearing my voice so they won't get off-key and find themselves back into the music. The thing is, I'm just a persuer. I would do anything to reach that high standard of... good. I don't want to go to college being poor at music. I guess that I will continue harponning my skills until September. I hope that I will succeed.
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